During the conversation we want to help others and use automatically the below empathy killers. We do our best to relief the pain of other person but  unwittingly we block the feeling of the interlocutor and lost the chance for a deeper contact.

I just leave here a short note of blockers of effective empathic communication

  1. Advice (You should …..)
  2. Story telling (I remember when I ….)
  3. Comparison (I had even worst ..)
  4. Diminishing (It is not such a big trouble ..)
  5. Block the feelings (Stop crying, just forget it)
  6. Examination (Why did you went there?)
  7. Education (It will teach you to ..)
  8. Reprimanding (You could not do such things, it’s your fault)
  9. Judgement (If you thought more ..)
  10. Pity (Oh my dear, what’s a pity)
  11. Taking others worries (I’ll do it for you)

They disturb the conversation and instead of listening and understanding of other people provoke us to talk and show our opinion and experience.

I am not the author of this list, I have read it in an paper “Coaching” N2 2014 and decided to shared the most important points for me.