How often did we meet anger when were trying to help others with advice? And how often did we feel anger when instead of listening the interlocutor had given us advice? Anger was on both side, the side of orator that haven’t ask for advice and the side of adviser that felt unappreciated.

Why does so good intention give so bad result? There is a simple explanation to this.

People often talk just to open up, blurt and event understand herself. They do not need our advice only the friendly and attentive listener that does not judge and refuse them. Why do we consider that for others our advice is precious? If we do not have such an advice instead of listening we are focused on thinking about the solution of the problem or how to say something significant. But it is enought just to listen to other person maybe someone just want to spill the beans.

If you do not know what to do it is better to ask what the other person expects from you. “Do you want just to tell me something and want me to listen to you? Or do you want me to tell what do I hear between your words and phrases, how do I see the situation?”

The rule is true for the both adults and children. Let them talk and find their own solution unless they ask you about your advice.

If you are interested in this topic more about listening can be find here.